Guess what? I didn't have the time to blog and the time to blog about Tapestry 4. Pictures are all on fb.
On sat, I had an awesome day with Jiajun, Yeexuan, Rahim ,Jarrett and Mitchell at ETP and movies with the other rest. Was jiajun's birthday. Had fun. But on that fcking night, I suddenly had the temptation to jump off a building. I wanna experience the pain and life after death. I suddenly felt so low and I felt like the most useless person on earth cause it's like I don't even think that I can go to express . Really very depressed about it. On the next day of school, I talked to navjeet about it. She and I don't even feel like living in this horrible and polluted earth anymore . We wanna jump down together cause we swore that we are BEST FRIENDS FOREVER and that means that we are together forever. Die together . I teared after thinking about everything NOT because of me wanting to end my life but because of my misery. My mind was crazy at that time! I don't know what the fuck is happening to me . I don't want to like this either, emo and gross . Even though I am fine now, but I think I might consider jumping off the building if I do not get into Express. Oh wait I don't think . I PROMISED MYSELF! everyone is enjoying their sec 1 life now but I am not. I am studying hard ! very hard! and whats worst is that people all told me that " Oh you can do it! i believe in you! jyjy!" " PRove them wrong! continue tobe like this! I believe in you!" and etc but DO I FUCKING BELIEVE IN MYSELF?! NO! so why bother telling me?? I was angry with myself for losing all those confidence because I had been slacking recently . WHY THE FUCK IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?! If I could, I will jump off the building now. Not because I want a death-attention but because I hate to live with regrets and troubles already. IT SUCK YOUR LIFE UP!
FUCK LIFE NOW!
